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| past 2 weeks i haven't slept well at all. i cant sleep and when i do i always feel tired.
today is my last day in Houston before i leave for Georgetown, i think i'm going to try to enjoy this day as much as i can...
i have a lot to buy before i leave...a lot to do...a lot to say to people but no time to say it.
i can't go to college like this.
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| I have trouble sleeping these days because of summer assignments. I wish I could say it all gets easier from now but i would be lying to myself. College will be tough; if i don't change my habits i am going to fail.
so let this to be a warning to myself- GET CRACKIN Z
since no one reads this anymore and I'm just using this to unload my feelings I figure I can yell at myself haha
as for that girl out there- I'll just end my pursuits with you as a warm memory in my mind for when I'm feeling down.
You seem to give me some sort of energy, something that keeps me going; however, you and I are worlds apart, i can't even talk to you normally and I am definitely not myself when I do. Our conversations don't go anywhere and they're even boring for me to read so I'm sorry for boring you to death with my attempts :]
I'd like to think you once had a crush on me, although there's no evidence to support such a claim, a man can dream...to an extent haha. So all I ask is for you to remember me, hopefully for a day we will meet again, so I can continue my idiotic futile chase.
:] as a fragment of my happiest memories, you'll stay with me eternally...or until i can find someone else to move on to heh.
rawr
<3
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| Man...i cant wait for this summer classes to end.
I think i'm in love with this girl even though its more of an obsession but everything i see is perfect.
Maybe i'm just disillusioned to think that because i'm liking what i see about her.
i hope she notices me one day. i hope we meet again one day
maybe then i'l finally get the chance i've longed for :]
il treat her like she's my everything
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| its been an year since i updated...feels fast. seems like yesterday when i was just in a relationship. but yea...i broke up with her.
i had to, im going off to college, i cant give her the attention she needs, she treats me like crap, shes too obsessive and jealous, and she's too controlling over my life.
right now...what i feel is nostalgic and sadness- not because of her but more of what i've been thinking. i want to love someone for who they are and not have that strong physical attraction at first sight. so far everyone i've liked has that first strong physical impression, but i want it to be reversed in a way. like my friend ____, he thought ____ was not good looking at first, but after being really close friends with her, ____ slowly thinks shes really cute and pretty...and loves her and feels really comfortable- and i believe that is what your true lover should have on you. (doesn't have to be ugly i mean physical attraction wasn't a factor for loving them at first)
i dont know what is wrong with me, i think im falling for some girls. but i really think its more of a physical attraction rather than a deeper form. becki...she is the most amazing girl i've ever seen in my life- has everything i can ask for (almost close to perfection). cute, pretty, beautiful. down to earth, bubbly, outgoing. optimistic, always happy, her smile is so captivating. just looking at her makes my mind be at ease. shes athletic - her abs are so nice, she eats alot like me! 37 slices of pizza (i still beat her 46). more importantly...she has the same goals i have...
i hate having to list what i like about someone, but i guess im just testing myself is this just infatuation or is this love.
i dont think this is love...as much as i would like it to be. but theres something special about becki that no one else has made me feel, she can always make my day better, even just with a smile, a wave, eye contact...i feel so relaxed with her. makes me feel lucky just to know her.
i dont know how compatible i am with her...based on astrology signs we could be, but i am too jealous for her care free behavior..which is true. she has alot of people liking her...i dont know if i can handle knowing that guys can take her away from me at anytime.
iono what to think....just think about her and everything will be at ease?
oh yea...another interesting thing some flirty girl has been trying to do something...im not sure what...but she's really suggestive- sad thing is that she has a boyfriend and he's my friend. meh...that girl needs to get her mind straight.
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| I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves me very much. I am a lucky person. I should be extremely happy. Why can't i forget the past... The past haunts me, the present is unfair, the future scares me Something is bothering me...can't quite put mi hands on it its like a silent fart in a crowded elevator... | | |
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